depressing | Vipul Satya

Vipul Satya

To Dream is to Dare

I care no more

Pourings of my despondent soul
Fed hungry flames through storms and winds
Let consummate fire take its toll
For consequences uncared, unknown
The heart of gold now used as coal

Emptiness was all that’s gained
With hollow screams that filled the space
While injured pride- insults attained
The insatiable whorl sucked on
And cruel scars of love engrained

Spiritedness long lost its spark
Misused, abused it wilted lies
Mirthless extractions of emotions stark
Beyond excessiveness have crossed
To die a desolate death in dark

Devine keeper of my inner core
Betrayed I’ll stand, but bear no grudge
With freedom you may choose your course
Excesses have now melt those bonds
Humour yourself  I care no more

Frozen Time...

Disclaimer : The two leading characters ‘He’ and ‘She’ described in the following post are fictitious and any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead is purely coincidental.

The clock ticked and it said 18.31. There he sat leaning by the window in the darkness, holding a coffee… watching the distant sun sinking low in to the earth’s crust… thinking how this world had turned up side down for him overnight. It had been almost 200 days since she had left him when he needed her most. And each day seemed like a year for him as if the time was frozen…he was lost, everything was shutting upon him and he wondered whether he was stuck in a tunnel with no light at the end, with no idea which way to go. There he sat, with a greeting card on the table before him which he had purchased spending 3 hours in the stores the previous morning, hoping that he could send a card on her birthday. The day had finally come, but the card was still with him untouched. With no prior notice, tears ran down his cheeks, spilled on to the card and got absorbed into a heart shaped love symbol. Then in an instant it started to rain as if the nature was trying to console him “I am with you” with its watery drops. He tried to smile looking at the heart on the card, but his lips seemed hesitant to oblige his intended actions. Instead a hysterical laugh spread across his face, a laugh which showed pity at his awful pathetic state. A state where he dint have any contact address or a mobile number of his loved one to wish her, a state where he was helplessly waiting for someone like me to write a post to wish her and to let her know how much he was missing her. So here I am, to wish his (or is it should be ‘used to be his’?) dear one.
Just few days after the tragic separation happened, the cruel reality left him with only two choices: Remember and be sad – or – Forget and be happy. Though everyone around him said that the second choice was the best thing to do, he chose the former one since he knew that the only reason why he was still alive was her ‘unrusted memories’. Leaving her memories behind would only kill him. In a way, he lived the past. He always knew he just couldn’t break off from her sticky chains and in the first place, he never tried enough to. He was literally stuck there in a room filled with nothing but merciless loneliness and grief. Only she held the key to unlock him from that, but she chose not to. He screamed and screamed “I don’t deserve this”, but none of his screams couldn’t penetrate the thick walls of the room. So there was no way his friends could know about how much hurt was there behind those poor eyes, only he knew. And he was tired of pretending to be happy in front of his friends. Even he thought how much thought he should have given about the pain he will go through. The happiness he had longed for was all gone…One stupid mistake, one stupid crush, one stupid love was all it took. And he was paying the price for not thinking before his actions. She took the best of him away. But he never was exhausted hoping with all his heart. His heart no longer gasped for air, but for her. He loved her for what she had been to him and hated her for what she had done to him. He missed her as much as he loved her…
There he sat fighting the battles no one knows… remembering the past, though it caused nothing but pain, and he invited the pain with a fake smile on his lips as long as she was a part of it. There he sat thinking of the best times they had together talking to each other, those lovely jokes, her standard ‘he he he’s… though it only made him feel even worse. Then with astounding bitterness, came to his mind, her last words “don’t try to contact me anymore”. He never knew he had an ability to endure this much pain.
There he sat thinking of her and turned to look at the clock and it said it was only 18.32.